Why do I care about Safe Sleep?

You know how sometimes everything just seems to come together and somehow you know, "this is right; it's what I am supposed to be doing"? This is one of those times for me.

Safe Kids Douglas County could not have chosen a cause closer to my heart. When I first became interested in running in the Marine Corps Marathon as a fundraiser for Safe Kids, I didn't know one of the considerations was to use the funds raised to support the coalition's efforts to spread the message about keeping babies safe while they are sleeping. Once I heard that piece, I was hooked.

Many of the events and emotions from November 3, 1998 are still so vivid, while others are a blur. There are times when all of it comes flying back and smacks me upside the head; and next thing you know tears are streaming down my face. Of one thing, I am certain: if there is anything I can do to help prevent another family from having to go through a similar experience, then you can bet I am gonna give it my best shot.

I immediately knew something was wrong when I heard my mother's voice on the phone. She was calling to tell me they were all at the hospital where my 3-month-old nephew had been taken when his child care provider found him unresponsive following his nap. This happy, apparently healthy baby boy was gone; just like that, with no warning and no real answers as to how or why. I think that is one of the hardest things about SIDS; it is unpredictable and we don't know what causes it to happen.

The long drive from Lawrence where I was working, to the hospital in Ottawa, was filled with a million questions and prayers, with my head just spinning and thinking this couldn't be real. It had to be a nightmare; please Lord, help them be able to save him. But he was gone before he was found and there was nothing anyone could do. Such an overwhelming sense of helplessness; I can't even explain, and so many questions. How were my sister and her husband going to explain to their 19-month-old daughter where her baby brother was? To me, K will always be my baby sister, and aren't big sisters supposed to be able to make everything ok? I certainly didn't know how to do that.

How would I tell my 10-year-old daughter that her baby cousin had died? I remember holding her that night as she tried to sleep, and not knowing how to help her understand when I didn't understand myself. I'd never seen my son look so dejected and I didn't know what to say or do. There was nothing that was going to make things better. I can still see him in the hospital hallway, sitting on the floor with his arms on his knees and his head on his arms and I clearly remember feeling so totally unable to function. How do you help your children when you can barely stay afloat yourself?

And the rest of my family. My parents, other siblings and their families. Although most of us had experienced some form of loss, as best I recall, this was the first time we had been through the death of a baby. One thing that stands out for me, in addition to our faith, the love and support of family and friends was the only way we all emerged from that time in our lives. Each of us was strongly impacted and would never want another family to experience such a tragedy.

Before that day, I'd only known one other family who'd lost a child to SIDS. Because of my job working with child care providers, I knew the "best practices" to reduce the risks of SIDS, but I don't know how well I shared that information. I also didn't know all of the reasons behind each of those steps.

Although it might surprise a few of my family members, some people refer to me as "the eternal optimist" (it is not always intended as a compliment). I tend to think well of most people, and I believe the majority of us want to do what is right, especially when it comes to protecting our children. I also believe that if we understand the reason behind recommendations (or rules, or laws, etc.), we are more likely to follow them.

In today's world, it is difficult with our busy lives to keep updated and make informed decisions about everything. There is too much going on and so much information about so many different topics. How do we find the time to take it all in? And not everybody has access to the internet, with its wealth of information; some from credible sources and others, not so much.

A couple of things about the Safe Sleep Initiative that sparked my interest and desire to support the program include the plan to develop and produce a short video (I think less than 10 minutes) which is made accessible to as many people as possible, and which is free of charge. Safe sleep for infants is about more than reducing the risks of SIDS; it is also about taking steps to remove hazards that put babies at risk of suffocation or strangulation. You can't put a price on getting the word out to everyone and if Safe Kids Douglas County can find a way to help do that, I can certainly run 26.2 miles (have I lost my mind?) to hopefully raise some money to help accomplish that goal.

When it was first suggested to me that I write a blog about this journey, I was a bit reluctant. I tend to be a somewhat solitary individual, and often it takes awhile for me to open up to others. Also, it was difficult to conceive that anyone might be interested in reading about what I am doing. Besides, as my kids remind me, I often tend to ramble. (I can hear you, you know: "No, not you...")

Then I realized, this is not about me. It is about raising awareness of some issues about which I care a great deal: keeping children safe, including safe sleep practices. Safe Kids does a tremendous job of helping support the efforts of caregivers and parents to keep children as safe as possible. I am thrilled to have the opportunity to help with those efforts.

So join me on this journey if you like. Besides helping raise awareness, there might be occasions when you suffer from insomnia and reading this blog will be just the cure...

But seriously, I do hope each of you will take a couple of minutes and click on the link to my page of the Team Safe Kids website and donate to support Safe Kids and especially the Safe Sleep initiative. The link is right up there, at the top of this page. Thanks in advance; your contribution is very much appreciated!

We will never know if my nephew's death might have been prevented. We don't know what causes SIDS, but we do know some things that help reduce the risk and also help prevent other tragedies. Babies spend most of their lives sleeping. It is up to us to do everything in our power to ensure they are safe.